All Hail King Connie for 2019

The LATEST Verse (First sung 6 Jan. 2019):

Saretta, a Bloomington Native was She, [Saretta Pope Jan 2018]
Decided out West was the Place she should Be,
But she came Back to the Bloomington Scene
because Cathy would Proxy for Her with the Bean

A few introductory Words:

The first Bean King Party in Bloomington IN, was held Jan 6, in the Bicentennial Year 1976, to celebrate King's Day, Epiphany, Twelfth Night, Old Christmas (and Dr. William Ryan's birthday) at Rapp's Pizza Train, after the Wednesday night dance. Andy Mahler, inspired by the King Cake tradition of New Orleans, baked a birthday cake with a bean, assorted Barbie doll limbs, etc. So began the tradition of ...


The Chorus:

The Bean King, the Bean King, the King of the Bean
Your teeth must be strong and your eyes very keen
If your portion of fortune containeth the seed
Be ye Man, Maid, or Child, you're the King of the Bean!

The Recitative:

Now many have asked that I cut this song short.
"Let's get back to the party, now there's a good sport.
While you stand there endlessly fanning the breeze
My mind's on a dance with my favorite squeeze."

Though some will agree that Tradition is Dear
Many others live but for the present, I fear.
"Your history's bunk," said a pleasant young pup.
I said "Where'd you hear that?" "Well, I just made it up!"

Now I may agree with the things that they say,
But a former Bean King saw me just yesterday.
With the Crown on his head and the Bean on his tongue,
He charged that we leave not a couplet unsung.

Though it's certain this song needs a little more leanness,
Still, minority rules, when it comes to His Bean-ness.
So let's all sing it now from the start to the finish,
The song that may Augment, but never Diminish!

The Verses:

We're gathered tonight in great numbers indeed,
Old Christmas to honor, and our faces to feed.
But when you devour this excellent cake,
Beware of the Bean or your jaw it will break.

Now who put the Bean in our holiday cake?
Prince Andy, the one who fell into the Lake.
He was under for hours but emerged with a grin,
For he'd eaten the Bean and had plenty of wind.

Now who was the Primary King of our day? [Frank Hall Jan 1976]
King Franco, the pride of his mother they say.
She had hopes that he'd enter the plumbing profession
She was close, for he clogs with particular passion.

Now who was the second-most King of the Bean? [James Chiplis'77]
King James of the West, tall, handsome and lean!
He's revered and remembered for doing his part,
A pretty good King with a mighty loud voice.

King Amy was next (though she styled herself "Queen") [Amy Novick'78, '79]
Two years did she harbour our excellent Bean.
But greed got the better of some, and you guessed it
They swallowed too swiftly, and the Bean was digested.

King Paul was the fourth, whom they called the Old Maid, [Paul Tyler'80]
For he drew, not the Bean, but the Lady of Spades.
He studied the classics, collected folklore
At the end of his reign he was sanding his floor.

King Charles, "The Weird," as he came to be called [Charlie Weir '81]
Did little, in fact he did nothing at all.
But nevertheless all the ladies will miss him,
and if you can find him, you can certainly kiss him.

Of Thomas from Spencer, this tale I'll intone [Tom Morrison '82]
For the practical gas-powered shaver he's known.
Under his rule we all swing into spring.
He was without doubt our most swinging Bean King.

King Andrea's fond of her dancing, no doubt [Andrea Morrison '83]
She's the mom of Prince Charles, that bonnie Bean Sprout.
She danced all nine months with her usual vim,
'Til Charles heard "Cast Off," and thought it meant him.

King Jane's in there somewhere (I fear I've lost track) [Jane Henderson '84]
She attended the party flat out on her back.
When we'd eaten her food and washed it all down, we
Partook of her beautiful Boston Bean Brownie.

At Leslie's round midnight I last saw King Eawin ['85]
A bottle of ale he was hotly pursuin'.
He is always up first and goes to bed last
Though his stature is short, his capacity's vast.

King Cliff "The Nailfinger" had his moment of truth [Cliff Emery'86]
While fixing a hole in another King's roof.
They hauled him away with blood on his cheeks
And they patched up his hand, but the roof it still leaks.

King Abby from Baltimore, really can charm you [Abby Ladin '87]
Her smile is so sweet (though her laugh may alarm you).
Our heroine Abby cut a figure quite dashing,
Like Nero, she danced while Wall Street was crashing.

The next was MB (which is short for "Ms. Bean") [Marybeth Roska '88]
and More Baseball, the motto of the Maple Street scene.
MB and her Court to Chicago did trek
To see Wrigley's lights and get rain down their necks.

Since Caitlin (the Former) abdicated the Throne [Lotus Dickey '89]
We decided to nominate one of our own.
A right royal fellow with a flower of a name
Though his blossoms have faded the petals remain.

He filled all our lives with the fragrance of song
With the colors of evenings that turned into dawn
With a deep joy of spring, overcoming the fall
Cut down by the winter, alive in us all.

King Randy of Hammond couldn't make it that night [Randy Hammond '90]
He brought a new baby Bean into the light.
Though the Bean may be old, Randy cared not a jot
If the Bean's pods were withered, King Randy's were not.

King Dean's an inventor of Bold Curiosity [Dean Lawler '91]
He greatly enhanced the Bean's Imperviousity.
If you bite down too hard, you'll be one of his clients
And the Bean he'll implant as a dental appliance.

[Teri Klassen created the "Gilded Garbanzo" crown]
Now Teri was known as the MIDAS-TOUCH Queen [Teri Klassen '92]
Not for over-priced mufflers but gold-plated beans.
With eggnog and wassail she's equally handy,
Her secret ingredient's homemade Bean Brandy.

Twas the Twelfth Night of Christmas, and all 'round the Lake, [Gail Larsen '93]
All the Sufis were dancing and eating Bean Cake
When out over Southshore there arose such a clatter
We sprang to the street to see what was the matter

Siri, Teal and Robin cried "Come here quick Mama!
Look, on top of the Porthole, there's twelve tiny llamas!"
And good queen St. Gail insur-ed her fame
As she lept to the rooftop and called them by name:

"Now Jasmine, now Pekoe, now Cinder and Licorice,
On, Pecan and Coconut, Stirfry and Beatrice,
And Cinnamon, Buster, Wisp, Sassafras too,
And Beany and Raisin, we still think of you!"

King Tom's a recycler, a shrewd man of business [Tom Stio '94]
but a bottle of Home Brew hath caused him some dizziness.
He called me and said, "I did not really mean it:
I baked, not the Bean, but a Styrofoam peanut!"

King Linda, her verse it was really quite nice [Linda Handlesman '95]
Something 'bout zydeco, red beans and rice
But the rest of her verse I will not repeat
(I wish I'd hit save instead of delete)

[and here is the actual verse amazingly recovered thank you Cindy L. ]

Now let's hear it for Linda, not a bean, but a plum
Or as they say in the Bayou, "une jolie bonne femme".
While we're digging out of the slush and the snow,
She'll be dancing and playing that hot Zydeco.

Flatulations resound for King Magnus the Swell [Rob Magnum '96]
Who can sit on his pot and throw it as well
A daddy, a fiddler, just one of the guys
I can tell you adore him by the glaze in your eyes

King Grey paid the price for kissing a Queen [Grey Larsen '97]
By contracting a lingering case of the Bean
He suffered in silence this dreadful affliction
And gave a new twist to the "oral tradition"

To write a new Bean Verse it isn't too hard [Mark Feddersen'98]
When you are the Bean King and also Bean Bard
A few flattering phrases [like ___ and ____ and ____] .. and set them to song
Multiply them by two and you'll never go wrong

[Queen Meisha is famous for her stuffed and costumed cows,
and produced a new crown for Teri's "Gilded Garbanzos"]

A wonderful seamstress was bonnie Queen Meisha [Meisha Smith '99]
Haberdasher for Charlotte and Lovely Lucretia
Oliana and Otis, Ophelia too
They all "SING" her praises, or should I say "MOO"

[The Y2K Verses]

As we wave fond farewell to this Y2K scam
Which was good for no one but the makers of Spam
We naturally ponder the future before us
We can hope "Lamborghini," but be ready for "Taurus"

Will this decade be known as the "ROARING OO's"
Or the ZZZ-Zeros? Well, the Bean only knows.
Through the dark of the night to the dawning new day
The Leguminous Light of the Bean shows the way Could this be the last of Diane the Yung? [Diane Jung 2000]
No, she's not ready to give up her day in the sun
George BushBean is bush league, Al Gore-banzo's a shmoe
She's headed to D.C. to run the whole show!

King Serena's the Queen at most all kinds of ball [2001]
See that MVP trophy adorning her wall
She's so good at games, you can hardly rebuke her
For doing less algebra and playing more Euchre

King Baus was content in 2002 [revised for "2 Dollar" Bill Baus 2002]
'Cause he kept his in CASH when the DOW went kabloo
He hid it in caves, in 2 dollar bills
And that's why they say that he's UNDER the hill

It was 2003 and December was ebbing [Julia Jackson 2003]
But Queen Julie was frantically world-wide-webbing
"This internet virus is the weirdest I've seen
All my HTTP is infected with beans!"

'Twas the night before Christmas, on the Evansville Road [Bill Baus 2004]
King Bill was out measuring snowdrifts, I'm told.
A two-foot-long stick in a snowbank was plunged
But the rest of this verse is discretely expunged

It was 2005 and the climate was warming [David Ernst 2005]
Katrina and Rita and Wilma were storming
What's with the tsunamis and deadly earthquakes?
"Dunno," says King Dave, "just don't blame my Bean Cake!"

King Steve is a king of talents diverse [Steven Grimes 2006]
Plays banjo, does math, writes Hungarian verse
And though you may doubt it, the plain simple fact is, he
Baked our Bean Cake on an Ultimate Frisbee!

If you want to know railroads, just ask King Jack [Jack Horton 2007]
Your man on the Monon is always on track
Forget I-69: let's do something green
And run high-speed rail on the fumes of the Bean!

King Anna from Russia came hence so they say, [Anna Alexandrova-Beauchamp 2008]
To do product surveillance in the USA.
In spite of recession Baxter-Bio's just fine,
and Bean Princess Lanna came in plenty of time.

King Len had no parties all two thousand nine,[Len Tieman 2009]
But came through on twelfth-night with chili and wine.
The wrath of his subjects did not make him pale,
For he knew that he'd be protected by Gail.

King Thomas established his second bean reign,[Tom Morrison 2010]
By holding a party on Karst Farm terrain,
But alas son Prince Charles, that bonnie Bean Sprout,
Had pre-registered Dance Trance and so he skipped out.

King Kenneth of Nashville did proudly proclaim, [Ken Sutton 2011]
"Many parties we'll have in the course of my reign".
But alas his new job put the parties on hold,
Since he now drives big trucks long-range over the road.

From Portland King Sue back to Bloomington came, [Sue Riegsecker 2012]
and fulfilled all the duties of her beanly reign.
Though the fiscal cliff made for conditions adverse,
Many parties she had in places diverse.

King Steven star gazing with telescopes found, [Steven Janowiecki 2013]
That dwarf galaxies with new stars abound,
But his chickens could not lay enough eggs to fill
The two cases needed to feed Sugar Hill.

King King Cathy spends winter weekends on ski slopes, [Cathy Meyer Jan 2014]
And_at parties is known for the pork loin she smokes,
At bird counts she listens for songbirds and hawks,
But at home it resounds to Fluffy's parrot squawks.

King Mary Jean's known as a dancing machine, [Mary Jean Regoli Jan 2015]
She drives far and wide for the contradance scene,
She managed the library friends with aplomb,
'Cause she's more than just a retired soccer mom.

King Anna from Chi-town to Bloomington Came, [Anna Wegerson Jan 2016]
To Teach Montessori to Kids in first Plane;
She's Extraordi-Narily Fond of her Cat,
And the Skunk that lives Under her House, how 'bout That!

King Ruth Abdicated her Crown to Marie, [Marie Deer Jan 2017]
Who_assumed Kingly Duties with Gusto and Glee,
German & French & Span-ish She'll Translate
While she Places a Bean in the Sugar Hill Cake

Saretta, a Bloomington Native was She, [Saretta Pope Jan 2018]
Decided out West was the Place she should Be,
But she came Back to the Bloomington Scene
because Cathy would Proxy for Her with the Bean

In Conclusion:

Now three Princes shall rule (though they've failed in the past)
Three parties they'll throw, each surpassing the last.
Good cheer they will proffer, nor stint with the Ale,
Or a life of Safe Sex it will be their sad tale.

[first sung Jan '94, a Mark Feddersen personal favorite]
The Bean's good with Fritos, sauerkraut and wieners
Loved by Bosnians, Serbs, even Herzegoviners.
If more beans were consumed by the average voter
It could be the beginning of a New World Odor.

This song by a Man from the East was composed,
And he wrote it all out on the bridge of his nose.
Though the tune may be weak and the verses a bore,
He hopes you will join him and sing it once more!

Now I've finished with Beans, and I'll finish this tune,
The lyrical lay of the lovely Legume.
The gracious Garbanzo our palate doth please,
So sing out your part or forever have Peas.


[The 1999 Invitation from Bean King & Bard ]:

A Proclamation from HRBH


and many Lovely Legumes to You and Yours

His Royall Bean Highness, KING MARK, has decreed
That all of his subjects may Worship the Seed
And Honor the Has Bean and Bring in the New
All your friends will be there, so How about You?

Old Christmas (Twelfth Night) falls on We'nsday this year
So don't fall asleep or you'll miss it I fear
At Harmony School we will dance as of yore
Then we'll gather to party and study Bean Lore

At Twelve Ten West Eighth Street (the very last HAUS)
There all creatures will celebrate (even Bill BAUS)
Add Three Three Nine- to the address and I'm told
You can phone for directions if you feel so bold

So arrive 'fore Eleven with music and Cheer
And if you are legal, a Six Pack of Beer
There are friendships to savor and verses to sing
And at last we can crown the new "Y2K" King

Click here for the Current Lineage of the Bloomington Beanery
Return to BOTMDG home page.

Copyright 2006 by the Bean Bard: Mark Feddersen. Updated through January 2019 by Bill Baus.

Historical note: The Bean Ballad, including the Chorus, Recitative, and the verses up through the verse for 2007, were written by Bean Balladeer Mark Feddersen. The verses from 2008 through the present were written by Sucessor Bean Balladeer Bill Baus. From 1977 through 1998 the annual party on 6 January to select the new Bean King was held at various locations, usually the home of the Bean King. Starting in 1999 the annual party on 6 January has been held at the Baus Haus, the new home that Bill Baus built with space specifically designed for dance parties such as these.